Last month a Colorado homeowner was pissed off to discover the driver that delivered his packages had been caught on camera urinating near his front door.

On December 1st in Sacramento, another driver was seen squatting on the lawn after delivering a package so she could deliver a personal note.

You're thinking, what's the matter with these people? There's got to be a McDonalds nearby you can run into. Both of these drivers work for Amazon and there's your answer.

Getty Images

It seems the delivery giant uses sophisticated software that plans the drops of some 200 packages per day, per driver while taking into account delays for traffic and variable speed limits.

Two things the smart delivery software doesn't account for is time for stopping to have a sandwich, or going to the bathroom.

Thus Amazon delivery drivers have to make-do, using in many cases plastic bottles inside their trucks for a toilet break so they can keep moving toward your house.

The drivers are working up and over 12-14 hours a day, for what works out to be less than minimum wage, when you calculate their van and insurance fees. And there is no complaining to the company that staffs its warehouses with millions of robot workers that never complain - if you complain they'll just replace you with another driver. So the delivery people are desperately watering your hydrangeas for you.

You see they're not actually Amazon employees but contractors that lease their van and insurance from Amazon for the pleasure of being a deliveryman that's always got to go.

Me being a fan of capitalism, it's extremely rare for me to rail against a company but c'mon Amazon; in the words of the late Captain McCluskey: "you gotta go, you gotta go."

As for me the corporate beast has me addicted to Prime. There are some bushes on the east side of the house, make yourself at home and don't tarry.